i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
