I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
