I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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