I just made out with a guy for $7.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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