Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Boobs speak an international language.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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