hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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