Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
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