When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
