I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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