saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
