Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
did you just send me my own nude
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
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