I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Randomize