if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
