So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
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