So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
