Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I could fuck to npr.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
