Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
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