Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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