New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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