I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
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