Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
