Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
