i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
