Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize