I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize