We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
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