North Korea, Best Korea!
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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