alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
