This beer is not sobering me up at all
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
How does one acquire holy water?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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