he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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