What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
