Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
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