Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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