Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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