Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
