i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
