It's Friday. Sex?
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Randomize