i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
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