I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
