so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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