you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
