do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Randomize
