Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
