its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
