I wannas sexs uuuuu
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
They took my balls.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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