I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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