I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
