College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
