only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Randomize
