Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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