you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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