Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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