Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I am mentally ready for anal.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize