you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
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