I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
