Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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