It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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