Well apparently he's into motor boating.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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