Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
