her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
