Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
