Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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