in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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