my mouth tastes like poor choices
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
You were trust falling into bushes
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize