Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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