I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Randomize
