Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
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