its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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