No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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