Is it normal to miss your booty call?
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
