Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
