i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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