Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
cat food counts as protein by the way
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
