Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
