she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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