you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
