I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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