It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Randomize
