conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
PANTIES FOUND
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
