in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
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