You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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