Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
