you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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